I am 6 weeks today and I have read a few times that having sex is not recommended before 12 weeks after a miscarriage. OH won't come near me, he is too paranoid. I just wondered if any of you had sex before 12 weeks?

I know if we did and I started bleeding I would never forgive myself.

Hi,
iam wondaring the same thing as we have been haing sex im only 5 weeks and i get period aches after orgasm which didt feel good. Im off to the docs today to ask so i will keep you posted!
Hannie xxx

hi MI

today I am 5+5, and my OH and I still have sex ;-)

The only different thing is, (sorry if TMI) that we dont use positions where he might go too deep, i dont like the idea of him prodding away at my baby!!!!

I have not experienced any bleeding or discomfort. TBH, part of me is worried about MC, but i think 'what will be, will be' I dont want to get fixated on anything, and then blame myself if I have another MC.

I guess that if you want to, then go ahead. maybe take it slowly the first time to see how you feel :-)

xxx

we've had sex, but like its been said, nothing to deep,, at least this time i feel like it, my last two pregnancy's i couldn't even bear the smell of my oh!!

Hi MI

At the recurrent mc clinic I asked about this and he said you don't need to avoid having sex. However, having said that we have decided not to have sex as like you if I started bleeding afterwards or had another mc I'd always wonder 'was it that....'.

I don't know how I'll feel after 12 weeks....I'll probably still worry! Especially if I'm still having this brown discharge. My husband could be having a very long 9 months!!

Love NN 9+2 xxx

Click Here To Read My Ramblings On Living With Loss And Pregnancy After Loss

Lol NN it's me thats having a long 9 months, I am really horny lol but OH won't come near me! I am sure after we have a scan in 2 weeks if they say everything is ok then he might come near me again! I am already getting bloated and uncomfortable so I had best get it all in before I am too big!

NN have you got a little bump yet? I keep meaning to ask you loads of questions, have you had any morning sickness or anything? I haven't been in January since the Feb forum opened, I have neglected you!!

I finally updated my blog by the way! I didn't know what to write!

Glad you are all enjoying your pregnancy lol. What did the doc say about the period pains??

We didn't have proper sex until the 12 week scan and to be fair not much since. Hubby refused until after the scan and I've been too knackered! Hoping second trimester energy is kicking in now!
Lentil 16 weeks

Im steering well clear of the S word. I mc in Jan and started spotting after a bit of rumpy pumpy. It lasted a day or 2 and i had a scan and everything seemed ok but the baby stopped growing within a day of my scan. Although i didnt find out till my 12 week scan, everytime we had sex i got a bit more spotting. Im sure thats not why i mc but it seemed to start stirring things up.

I just cant face it right now, its too worrying for me. I know that once i pass the 12 or 15 week stage and the baby is a bit higher i will be back in the saddle so to speak. You cant beat it when you are pg and glowing!!!
Gemm x

hey hun, i didnt have sex for 12 weeks then when we had acan at 13 weeks we had sex but i felt very nervous afterwards so we didnt do it again until after 20 week scan and we have only done it again once since the 20 weeks....i just get soo nervous afterwards!

I think it didnt help that i had bleeding at the beginning of this pg! xxx

30+1

I think OH and I only boogied once in the first trimester as I felt way too scared to "rock the boat" so I wasn't really feeling in the mood for it, much to my hubby's frustration!!

Now we are in the second trimester we have a few times but not that often to be honest. Im not so scared anymore but it takes more to get me in the mood these days!! Though I did wake up the other morning feeling rampant after a dream !! TMI!

It is important to maintain the intimacy though as I know hubby was missing that with me and opened up and complained once. Then I felt like I was neglecting him and didn't want him feeling as though he'd done the job and that was it!

My advice would be to do what ever feels right and what feels comfortable. Not wanting to sound like a sex therapist (which Im not ) but it need not be all about penetration!

xx

we haven't had sex either (but we have had a bit of a play around!!)

We have enjoyed penetration free extra curricular activities lol.
I feel too nauseous all the time now to let him near me, I am hoping that will pass pretty soon. I don't want to complain, I am just ecstatic to be pregnant and if feeling like I have a 2 week hangover is what it takes for a healthy bean then so be it!

We waited until 14 weeks so I was 2nd trimester. I'd been told it was fine but we just didn't want to take the risk. If I bled after it would have freaked me out so much.

Even since then I think we have probably only done it about 6 times...! I find feeling baby move a bit distracting to be honest!

x 28+1

I have just put exactly the same post in 'Due in Feb' and then found this one here. Really helpful to read all your replies. I had some bleeding around 4-5 weeks. I had an O around 5 weeks and got really bad cramping afterwards and haven't dared to since!

I have a scan on Thurs so will ask the EPU. Will update you all!

I had a MC last Aug at 8.5 weeks so probably won't do anything until at least 10 weeks.

Goldilocks
7+2

I think when i am pregnant again i will be avoiding it for the first 12 weeks as well! xx

Just thought I'd say that I saw MW last Thursday and she said that if you have a history of recurrent mc (not sure about after one) that you should avoid sex in the first trimester. I guess it's like anything and different professionals have different opinions!

Love NN 11+6 xxx

Click Here To Read My Ramblings On Living With Loss And Pregnancy After Loss

Hi NN,

I agree, all professionals do have different opinions as my gp said today that there is no research to suggest that bd'ing through pregnancy if you have had 1 mmc is linked (i only know about 1 mmc as thats what i've had). He's advised hubby and i that it is fine to bd if we want to although he did explain like goldilocks has said that if you "o" then it may be uncomfortable, not so much in the early stages but more around 20 weeks + and give you contraction feelings.

Ladies, i think we all just have to do what we feel comfortable with as there is a lot of conflicting advice out there which unfortunately doesn't help xxx

my poor husband is in for a long wait - i refuse to have any rumpy pumpy as i dont think it is worth the risk.

And now i have a bump - hubbys not that keen either.

We made up for it all the months of ttc so hopefully that will last till january time!

Heya
I am nearly 25 weeks and we have not had sex at all. I'm too scared to risk it so would rather wait til after baby is born.
x

with my first pregnancy the doctor said sex would be fine, but we didnt anyway and it still ended in mc. i have read to avoid sex if you have had an mc so me and hubby wont be partaking in any love making for a long while. he was glad of the rest at first anyway...!

Well, we finally got past the 12 week mark and had 2 healthy scans so we decided it would be ok to finally do the deed. I ended up in hospital a few hours later with severe abdominal pain and I got referred for a scan to check everything was ok. So after a dramatic and terrifying 2 days we are now officially not having sex again until Stewie is at least 6 weeks old!!!

6 weeks after!!!! I would add a few months to that, sleepless night and breastfeeding dont really enhance a good sex life!! I joke we have only had the energy for sex 3 times since i had my first, and that was my second, my mc and this baby!!!!

Gemm x
13+4

Lol Gemm I was being a little optomistic wasn't I?

You never know. I had my first rumpy pumpy when my first was about 4 weeks, which wasnt bad after about a million stitches. That was prob it though for a while, and when you have 2 its totally off the menu!!!!! I joke now with oh that he has to get it elsewhere and thats fine as long as he doesnt harrass me, im too bloody knackered!!

Gemm x
13+5