Hia Girls,

Could any of you help me. I've just given birth to my son in the most traumatic of circumstances, I had placent previa which kept me in hospital a week then had an emergency section at 35 wks and my son was in the Neonatal unit for 17 days. All the while my beautiful 18mth old daughter has had to put up with being at the hospital everyday and being left at her grans or my sisters and watch her mummy go through a stream of emotions. Before this I had left her maybe 4 times in the whole time I've had her which brings me to the problem. She really seems to have gone very naughty smacking out all the time, throwing dirty looks at us and when the midwife came round this morning she screamed at her. Her gran came round the other day and she went ballistic. She is however being really lovely with her brother. So I am confused as to whether its jealousy, anger at all the confusion we've been through or just the terrible twos early. What do you think and any ideas on how I can tackle this? I have tried to reassure her with loads of loves and kisses and keeping her involved but sometimes she just doesn't want to know. Help please if you have any?xxxx

hey hun i didnt wanna read n run x but big hugs 1st of all x she may be lashin out because she was taken out of her routine?? and obv seein u upset wud of upset her too!! ipersonally would think its all out of confusion as u say u hardly left her until u had ur son x maybe the best thing will be to get her bk into her routine or as close as you can xx that maybe help with her lashing out?? mite help not to react to her wen she is playin up?? im sorry im not much help xx but hope u can get it sorted :)

I'm sorry you've had such a tough time It does sound like your little girl has been very confused by the massive (and of course unavoidable) changes in her routine. Maybe she's upset when different things happen now, like the midwife coming round, as she's worried that they mean she'll be separated from you again.

It sounds like you're doing a brilliant job reassuring her. I'd say keep this up, and it may take a little while but I'm sure she'll settle down soon - I think she just needs to gain confidence that no other big changes are about to happen. Hang in there, God bless xxx

Ooh, sorry, I also meant to say a big congratulations on the birth of your son! xx

[Modified by: Niblet on May 24, 2009 09:20 PM]

Thanks girls. It has settled quite a bit now but it has meant that I've had to give up breastfeeding as he was constantly feeding and she wasn't getting much of my time. It was hard but had to weigh up the options and what was best for the family all round. It has meant however that I could leave Jamie with his dad and take Beth out on my own so we could have some me and her time. I've also started taking her back to some of the classes she goes to which is a military operation haha but I've managed it and I've found that this has helped big time. So thanks for the advice its appreciated xx