Let's face it - sex won't be the first thing on your mind when you've just had a baby. You're still recovering physically, you're exhausted from those night feeds, and leaky boobs don't exactly bring out your inner goddess.

'How long it took each of us to have sex again after birth became a bit of a talking point in our mums group,' says Karen Jones, 34, from Ilkley, Yorkshire, mum to 1-year-old Freddie. 'It was reassuring when other mums confessed they still weren't up for it, four months later. But there was always one person who'd practically been at it a day after giving birth, and it made me feel a bit inadequate.'

When is the right time?
The reality is, everyone is different. The type of birth you had can also affect how long it takes you to feel ready for sex, says social pyschologist Dr Sandra Wheatley. 'The best time to have sex again is when you feel like it. Your partner may not want to hear that, but at least when you do approach him, he'll know you mean it! Three months is the average, but it can take up to a year to feel comfortable physically and emotionally.'

Does it matter?
This depends. A lack of sex is OK as long as it doesn't bother either of you - a secure relationship isn't going to fall apart because passion is on the back-burner. 'Don't let a lack of sex become a taboo subject - tell your partner how you're feeling,' advises Dr Wheatley. 'Communication is key, but how you communicate is up to you. The real relationship killer is loss of intimacy, so try to keep your relationship tactile by kissing, cuddling, and being tender - small gestures go a long way.'

Get back in the swing
As time goes on, however, it's crucial not to let a break become a more pemanent state, says relationship counsellor Val Sampson. 'Sex is important. It's more than a physical act - it's an emotional connection. Plus, it releases hormones that bond you together.' If post-birth celibacy goes on for too long, one of you may not be happy with it - often the man - but may be unsure how to mention it.

So how can you go about bringing the passion back into your life? 'It's important to feel like a couple again, rather than just parents,' says relationship counsellor Val Sampson. 'If your sole role in life is "baby carer", you won't feel sexual. It's important to free up time, to go out, and do things that make you feel good.'

And if you're still not sure you're in the mood, it's worth setting aside time for being close. 'Tiredness can make you feel irritable and snappy, but being held and stroked can be soothing,' says Val. Go on, give it a go - you might surprise yourself!