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The Diary of a father to be

Tuesday Jul 24 2007 20:57:31

By Rob Lambert

It seems I spend my whole life planning. I'm the one who plans the summer holiday, plans the finances and budgets, plans the garden designs and plans the future. I'm forever planning, which is why I'm over the moon this week to be planning some more.

Dawn seems to have entered a super bossy 'must have things sorted' kind of nesting stage and we are only at week 24. So I need to put a plan together for how we are going to have the nursery decorated (at least two months before baby is born), how we are going to afford to live next year when Dawn is off work and how to ensure the whole house is spotless, clean and free from clutter. I'll start work on that as soon as I've finished my 'lottery win' plan.

Last weekend we had the ever so joyful experience of pram shopping. I'm normally excited about shopping and spending money on gadgets and toys but I knew that pram shopping would be tough. Me and Dawn rarely agree on expensive items and no matter what budget we set we always, but always, spend more.

It is a real minefield with prams as we found out after just one hour of stood in babies are us. There was one for £400 but also one for £200 but it didn't have the same label on it. They both did the same, they both looked the same, they both weighed the same and they both folded the same. I wanted the £200 one. Dawn wanted the £400. We have yet to decide and no doubt we will have a major disagreement over it. At the end of the day though, Dawn is the one who will be using the pram the most whilst I am at work so really she should get the final say. I personally preferred the cheaper one, it also had a thermometer and clock on it. Winner.

We also had a midwives appointment this week, where I attended and got to listen to the heart beat, which was very cool. Baby and mum are both doing fine and all is on track.

I'd better get going now cos I need to get planning!

The Diary of a Father To Be

Tuesday Jul 24 2007 20:38:32

By Rob Lambert

I know I may be making much more of this than other people may think is necessary but it was babies first holiday last week.


Ok. To be fair, baby is not yet born but I'm pretty sure baby was excited about going on holiday. A week in Spain was just what baby needed. As did mum and dad. After the initial shock of not having enough clothes for the holiday Dawn proceeded to shop until I dropped and got herself a whole new 22 week pregnant holiday wardrobe. A week before going I packed everything. I mean everything. I was ready. What was in the suitcase was staying in there and what I didn't have I would go without.


Dawn on the other hand, packed a week before, then emptied the suitcase the day before and then repacked an hour before we left. We had booked daytime flights for ease and to ensure that Dawn was not sat around in airports at stupid o'clock in the morning.


The journey to Gatwick was fine, the parking was fine, the check in was fine, the airport clothes shopping was about bearable, the lunch at the airport was expensive, the flight was fine and the transfer to the hotel was fine. The only thing that was not fine was the hotel that baby would spend its first holiday in.


Upon arrival we realised that the hotel was much bigger than we had thought, it was vast.


Never mind, we settled in to our room in time for the evening meal. I'm hoping that because baby is not born yet, that it is not traumatised by what we encountered on our first foray into the restaurant.


To say the head waiters were surly was an understatement. I'm guessing they were all brothers because the only way you could tell them apart was the colour of their jackets. They all had the same sneer, same mannerisms, same bad attitude and same haircut. Peas from a pod indeed.


The process for the evening meal buffet went something like this:

1. First wait by door for Surly 1 to show you to a table
2. Then wait some more
3. Then wait a bit longer
4. Then get shown to table by Surly 1
5. Then get up to get some food
6. Then be pushed out of the way at every stage of the journey to the counter
7. Then queue politely (as us British people are very good at)
8. Then be still in same queue, same distance from food, behind same British people, still waiting patiently in line 5 minutes later
9. Then learn quickly and adapt to Spanish method of Buffet and start pushing people out of way
10. Then get some badly described food, mainly from a tin and pile plate high (when i say badly described I took some chicken legs from a plate labelled as Lamb. I also took some potato croquets labelled as melon.)
11. Then find Dawn and push her to the front for some badly described vegetarian, pregnancy safe food. (Salmon labelled as Turkey. Rib eye steak labelled as vegetarian paella)
12. Then return to table to discover two German people sat at it
13. Then ask Surly 1 why he has seated someone else in our seat
14. Then be shrugged at by Surly 1
15. Then be shown to another table by Surly 1 whilst holding a plate full of food
16. Then be served drinks by Surly 2
17. Then be sneered at by Surly 3 who didn't seem to serve any other purpose than to make the other two look slightly competent.

We think baby was shocked by its first encounter with a Spanish Buffet cos it kicked Dawn all evening. That could well have been the very poor four tops entertainment that was on in the main bar.

The evening did give us a chance to reflect on how we will cope as parents. Watching all of those kids chasing Dino the penguin, clapping, dancing, singing, throwing bottles down Dino's throat, trying to trip him up, trying to jump on him, and trying to stab him with plastic cutlery. Who said having kids wasn't fun.

The first night set precedence really for the rest of the week. The noise whilst trying to get to sleep was incredible. With 130 rooms in the hotel, meaning at least 260 guests and a high percentage of kids I simply could not believe that Dawn's snoring was louder than all of them put together.

I've been doing some reading around this and apparently pregnant women do snore more. This is bad news for me. I'm an incredibly light sleeper with hearing like a bat. I would normally have tickled her, whistled, rolled her over, stolen the covers, banged the bed or some other anti snore action but because she is pregnant and needs her sleep, I took the hit. What this meant was that for the entire week of our relaxing holiday, I was awake about 23 hours of each day, kept awake during the day only by Caffeine and sugary foods. Dawn on the other hand slept like a baby, as I'm sure baby did too.

Chilling by the sun lounger was very pleasant and Dawn is becoming noticeably bigger which attracted lots of attention from other women by the pool.

I also found myself really looking forward to having a son or daughter to play with in the pool, to relax with on the sun loungers, to look after and protect and to help chase Dino around with an empty bottle.

The Diary of a Father To Be

Tuesday Jul 24 2007 20:37:50

By Rob Lambert

Tuesday was a very special day for me. Dawn had been telling me countless times that baby was kicking but I could never feel it. However, Tuesday evening, whilst watching the Glastonbury highlights baby decided to start kicking stronger. It was the first time I had felt the kicking, punching or headbutting and it was truly a special moment.

It was about twenty minutes later when Dawn was trying to go to bed that she had to wrench my hand away from her belly. I didn't want to let go. Our baby kicking. Very special.

On the Wednesday though, things were made even more special when we had our twenty week scan. Baby was very healthy, very beautiful, very special and perfect. Just a few of the many words used by the superb ultrasound team. The scan went very well apart from one thing. The stubborness of the baby. A trait baby must definately get from it's mum.

Baby was facing the wrong way round for a decent photo so no matter how much prodding and pushing baby still would not turn round apart from one beautiful picture of he/she waving at us. Baby was also jibbering away constantly, flexing and trying its mouth and jaw muscles. Another trait taken directly from it's mother. There was one obvious trait I saw in the baby that had come from me though. It's constant moving and fidgeting.

I've put together another plan on the back of this scan: The R plan.

This is a new diet and fitness plan. The R plan (Rob Plan) is basically a plan for baby's dad to get fit and healthy. If baby is fidgeting and kicking so wildly at week 20 then what is it going to be like when it is 2 years old. I've got to get fit and healthy in order to be able to chase after and play with my son/daughter. So roll on the R plan.

For now though. I'm going to celebrate the 20 week scan with a pint of beer and some fish and chips. I love it when a plan comes together.

The Diary of a Father To Be

Tuesday Jul 24 2007 20:36:10

By Rob Lambert

I'm one of these people that is constantly tired, partly from a poor diet and lack of exercise and partly from insomnia. It is something I've got used to and Dawn has always been there to support me, even when I'm ill and in a foul mood.

Dawn on the other hand sleeps fine and has always been very alert and awake. So to see her completely debilitated by tiredness is something of a shock to me.

The tiredness, of course, is caused by being pregnant. It is something most women go through apparently. It would appear that it is energy sapping, mood changing, complete exhaustion and something us men need to be supportive throughout.

I know at first I honestly found it somewhat irritating. Mainly because Dawn wouldn't have the energy to do anything. This meant we couldn't go anywhere as a couple or do anything that involved staying up past 8:00pm. This is something that comes with pregnancy and something I have learnt to adapt to.

Dawn has perked up a bit in the 16th week but still suffers if she has a late night. It is important I help out more by doing most of the housework, the shopping, the planning and organising, looking after the finances yada yada yada.

To see her so tired is something that still upsets me, but I'm getting better at being the supportive husband and coping with helping her. And that's really all us men can do, is be supportive and do more to help out.

I'm still as tired as usual but at least with my insomnia I have more time to clean the house, do the washing, do the shopping, decorate the nursery, bake cakes and complete a full day at the office.

The Diary of a Father To Be

Tuesday Jul 24 2007 20:34:56

By Rob Lambert

Today was Dawn's second visit to the Midwife and by all accounts it was really something special. My day started as usual, traffic jams, stress and work, but at 10am I knew my wife would be at the doctors seeing the midwife.

So whilst I sat opposite an evil bearded software developer and discussed change controls and algorithyms, Dawn was listening to our baby's heartbeat.

To say she was excited was an understatement and I can barely contain my excitement as the next appointment I'm going along to listen to our darling baby's heartbeat.

Everything is okay with the baby and all is well with Dawn. Just the news I needed to hear.

12 Week Scan

Tuesday Jul 24 2007 20:32:35

By Rob Lambert

All throughout the first few weeks it has not really felt real for me. I know Dawn has been feeling the illness, the sickness and the overwhelming tiredness but for me there has been nothing.

That was until the 12 week scan.

We rolled up to the hospital with about 20 minutes to go. Did we find a parking space. No.

After parking what seemed 12 miles from the maternity unit we had a heck of a walk to do. When we reached the hospital we waited around for about another 20 minutes. Dawn had heard that if you drink a lot of water before the scan you get a better picture.

She was at the water like crazy. I recommended she slowed down, but like most women, she was right and carried on drinking.

We were about 20 minutes waiting for the appointment by which time Dawn had nearly wet herself.

When we went in to the room the nurses and radiologists were very welcoming and nice. This was the moment of truth. Was the baby all well? How many of them were there?

When the first pictures showed on the screen it was one of the most amazing moments of my life. Seeing the little baby swimming around and waving its arms was so brilliant. The scan machine was brand new and the pictures were excellent. All was well with the baby and there was just one of them.

It was a very emotional day.

We needed a plan.
This plan was for how I was going to find somewhere to park when we have the baby. I'll start work on that now.

The Diary of a Father To Be

Tuesday Jul 24 2007 20:32:00

By Rob Lambert

We have been married now for three months and the news that we are expecting a baby is just what we wanted to hear.

At three in the morning my wife, Dawn did a pregnancy test and the results were positive. Excitement was all around us and we were overjoyed but we still didn't have 100% proof.

We then did another test and yet again it was positive. We were over the moon and we still are.

This blog will now chart the ups and downs of pregnancy from the mans perspective. I hope you enjoy.

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The Diary of a Father To Be

Tuesday Jul 24 2007 20:26:32

By Rob Lambert

A blog from a very excited but scared father to be.