Get the right birth partner

Partner
90 per cent of women choose their partners to be at their side during childbirth. Although many women feel their partners are wonderfully supportive throughout, some find his presence unhelpful, or a downright nuisance. Try to discuss any concerns you have with him in advance and encourage him to air his worries too. Warn him that even if you don't usually swear, it's common for mums-to-be to turn the air blue in the delivery room!
He's the obvious choice. But is he the right one necessarily?
Advantages
He can be there for the most amazing experience of your lives together. He can also give emotional and practical support.
Disadvantages
He might be shocked at seeing you in pain. Not knowing how to help might make him feel awkward.
It helps to know
Get him to act as your coach, reading up on birth and going to antenatal classes with you.

Best pal
Some women find a close friend can be a great comfort in the delivery room, either on her own, or in addition to your partner. Remember, she'll see the best and worst of you, so choose someone you feel relaxed with and know you can count on.
Advantages
You trust her and she can relate to your needs better than most people.  
Disadvantages
Unless she's a mum already, she'll need to do some homework to ensure she's prepared for the birth.
It helps to know
Choose someone who's had a straightforward birth and is positive, calm and reassuring.

Mum
In times of crisis, most of us turn to Mum - after all, she's done it before. If you're close to your mother or sister, she may be a good choice of birth partner. Your mum (and possibly your sister) also have the advantage of having experienced labour herself, although things may have changed a bit since you were born.   
Advantages
She'll be of real practical help, as well as being there for you emotionally.
Disadvantages
Her ideas about birth might be out of date and some mums find it difficult to see their own daughter in pain.
It helps to know
Does your partner get on with your mum if both will be at the birth? You don't want any bickering or bad feeling.

Doula
Taken from the Greek word meaning woman servant or caregiver, a doula offers emotional and practical support before, during and after childbirth. She can act as your birth partner, although her job isn't to replace a midwife. During labour, the doula will offer advice and suggestions about your position, breathing and pain relief. Above all, her aim is to help you feel more comfortable and reassured. A doula is a professional female birth partner, privately paid for and not available on the NHS.
Advantages
Research shows having a doula results in shorter, less-painful labours.  
Disadvantages
The cost - an experienced doula charges between £300 and £600.   
It helps to know
Doulas can support you after the birth as well. To find out more, call Doula UK on 0871 433 3103 or visit www.doula.org.uk.

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