A medical doctor and Fellow of the Royal College of Physicians, Dr Stoppard, is the UK’s best-known expert on pregnancy and birth.
She has published over 50 books and sold in excess of 20 million copies. Dr Miriam has a daily advice column in a well-known tabloid newspaper and regularly appears on TV.
To celebrate the re-launch of her complete Babycare library, Dr Miriam Stoppard joined Babyexpert for a live webchat about babycare. Here's what she had to say:
Q: I have a little girl aged 8 and half months, I am still having problems getting her to eat lumpy foods! She just spits all of the lumps out and then clamps her mouth shut, I try every now and then with some more lumpy food but it is not happening. I try her with finger foods as often as I can but even with these she doesn't eat properly as she doesn't like it when a lump comes off! Any advice on how I can get her to start eating lumpy foods?
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: I don't think it's a good idea to rush a child into eating lumpy food. All babies differ and they do it at their own pace. My great nephew, for instance, didn't eat lumpy food happily until he was over 1 year old. So frankly, I'd go easy on the lumps. It's much more important that your baby has a nourishing pureed diet and when you do move on to lumps make them soft as in porridge.
Q: My 5 month old daughter has always slept well through the night, waking once for a feed. In the last couple of weeks she has been waking earlier and more often, but also she won't go back to sleep after her feed. She isn't upset, just wide awake and ready to play at 4am! I'm sure she's not getting too much sleep in the day. We haven't started her on solids yet, do you think this will help her to sleep? Or is there anything else we can try?
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: The golden rule of sleeping for babies is that the more a baby sleeps, the more a baby sleeps. In other words, it's best not to cut down on daytime naps, because they make a baby feel tranquil and contented. But also, oddly enough, it helps them both to go to sleep and to sleep through the night without waking. How you behave when she wakes is important, she has to learn that night time is for sleeping, not playing, so I would suggest you try the rapid return technique whereby you go into her room to show you are there but you don't speak or lift her, simply pat her once or twice and leave the room. This technique requires real perserverance. When I tried it with one of my granddaughters I returned more than 30 times on the first night. But by the fourth night she had learned to sleep through.
Q: My little girl is 6 months old, at the moment she is on 2 meals a day. I struggle to get milk down her. She might have 16-18 oz a day as well as 2 meals. I'm worried that if l introduce another meal, her milk intake will get worse. In the morning l give her bottle first, so l know she's had a few ounces of milk then about an hour later l give her breakfast which she sometimes refuses, so it can take 40 minutes or so to get breakfast down her. Health visitor told me to give her breakfast first then milk, but when l tried it she had little bit of porridge and refused her bottle. So she wasn't getting a lot of milk. She eats most of her dinner which is about 4.30. She will have about 5-7oz of milk before bed and will sleep through most nights.
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: I think you are being a bit hard on yourself and your baby. I'd really like to reassure you that I think you are both doing quite well. The meals to milk balance is really quite good. I think your HV would have said if your baby wasn't getting enough nourishment, so relax! Don't communicate your anxiety to your baby because that could create difficulties. Good Luck!
Q: My daughter is 9.5 mths old. She rolled very early but seems to be really struggling with crawling. She does move backwards but gets so frustrated because she can't go forwards and get to where she wants to. Hubby and I have spent lots of time on all fours with her and physically moving her to help her learn but she is just not getting what she needs to do with her legs. She's very strong standing etc and loves her feet but just can't seem to master crawling. I know she is within the age range for crawling so we have nothing to worry about but she is just so fed up as she has been like this for months now. Is there anything I can do or buy to help her learn what to do or encourage her to use her legs more?
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: Some babies walk without ever crawling. They go straight from sitting to pulling themselves up to taking their first steps. Nearly all babies find it easier to go backwards than forwards because they have control over their arms before they can control their legs so their arms can push them backwards. In terms of development their legs have to catch up with their arms. One way to encourage going forward is to place their favourite toy just out of reach so that they have to stretch their hands out to get it and eventually a leg will follow the outstretched arms. Please be patient, crawling is a very complicated movement and your baby's brain has to grow very fast to master it. Please don't get hung up about it.
Q: Please help! My baby has never slept properly. She's now 6 months, will only sleep after 10pm and only in our bed in between us. She hardly naps during the day if I'm at home. Every time she goes into her cot she screams and screams until she goes into our bed. She has a bedtime routine of bath and milk but she won't sleep. She usually sleeps til 8am. Is the option to make her sleep controlled crying?
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: A lot of Mums will be saying Welcome to the club! Now that your baby is used to sleeping in your bed, it's going to be difficult to break her of the habit. But I think you are going to have to because every child has the right to love their own cot and to love sleeping in it. Rather than controlled crying I would suggest Rapid Return and I think you and your husband are going to have to grit your teeth and decide that you are both going to be firm and strong and weather the emotional storm! I know how hard it is to listen to your baby cry, but as long as you are kind and gentle your baby will learn to self-quieten. I believe that all babies can learn this skill but they need Mum and Dad to guide them and reassure them that they haven't been abandoned. So never let your baby cry for longer than 2 minutes without going into the room, patting her, and leaving the room in silence. Good Luck!
Q: I am thinking of taking my little boy (4 months) swimming this Thursday. As I don't drive it is bus and buggy! But I was thinking - is it ok, that we walk outside after the swim, because it is rather could outside right now (around freezing point)?
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: I think it's terrific that you want to take your little boy swimming when he's so little. It means he'll learn to swim when he's quite young and that's a great gift to give any child. However, the weather is incredibly cold and even though you wrapped him up warmly before and after I think the buggy and the bus could be quite trying for him. So I would delay his first swim just until the cold spell breaks. I took my granddaughter to Winter Wonderland last Saturday night and even though she was well wrapped up I had to bring her home because the cold was painful.
Q: My son is 17 months old, he babbles constantly and does understand when he is told things, but he is not saying any actual inteligible words. The one thing he does say is Hiya. Do you think I need to worry?
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: I don't think you need to worry at all. I think your little boy is doing beautifully! Understanding spoken speech is much more important than talking. Babbling is early talking anyway so your little boy is showing the deisre to communicate, which is great. One of the things I found useful with my twin granddaughters was saying very slowly to them 'Can you Say... Cat?' They quickly learned 'Can you Say...' prefaced a new word and it made them alert and attentive and their vocabulary increased quite quickly at the rate of about 2 new words a week. Don't forget boys tend to talk a little bit later than girls and if a baby's going through a growing spurt, speech will lag behind.
Q: My 8 month old son seems really behind in his development. He doesn't sit up (well, for more than a few seconds), roll (he has done a few times but not often), crawl, bear weight on his legs, or like being on his tummy. My health visitor said to leave him on his tummy and let him cry to help with his development but I don't feel comfortable doing this. The last time I spoke to my health visitor she told me I was holding him too much and not giving him the chance to move enough but I give him lots of time on the floor and it doesnt make a difference. Do I really need to worry?
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: I think your HV is probably right. Holding a baby certainly doesn't encourage him to use his body himself. Babies master skills in order to do something that they enjoy so if you were to sit your baby up supported so that he could look around and follow you around the room he'd like to see what's going on and his back and neck muscles would become stronger. I would have to reassure you that there are lots of babies at 8 months that are in a similar place to your little boy. So don't try to force him. I think you should take the long view; he is going to be OK and by the age of 12-15 months he'll have mastered enough skills to be upright and possibly even cruising round the furniture. I do think it's a good idea to get him to take his own weight by bouncing him up and down on your knee so that he feels his feet even for a few seconds. Don't take the developmental charts so seriously that you upset your baby.
Q: I have a 20 month old girl who sleeps so much more than I've read a toddler her age should sleep. She has an hour and a half nap at 9am and a two hour nap at 1pm and then asks to go to bed at half 6 every night and then sleeps through till 8am every morning. We never just take her to bed she has signs and we ask her if she needs a sleep and she goes OK, tired, and then we walk upstairs to bed and she goes down herself. I'm happy we have a super sleeper, she doesn't even wake when her newborn sister cries at night but people have told me it's not normal for her to be this tired and it can be a sign of illness like diabetes or something. She has had this sleeping pattern for at least 3 months now and has always slept well but should I be worried?
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: I think that there are a lot of people out there who think you are really lucky to have a toddler who sleeps so much and so well! I agree she is sleeping a lot but that could be normal for her, especially if she runs around a lot and is very active when she's awake. Personally I don't think she sleeps because she's tired, it sounds like she sleeps because she's contented. I also don't think you should take any notice of what other people say, or compare your little girl to any other. A child should only ever be compared to herself. What does your Health Visitor say about her sleeping? Why don't you have a chat to her and I' m sure you'll find her answer reassuring.
Q: I have an 8 month old daughter that I am still breastfeeding and have just found out that I'm pregnant. I'd like to continue breastfeeding and wondered if you had any advice on the subject?
Dr Miriam Stoppard says:I think it's admirable that you are breastfeeding at 8 months and want to continue. I am a very keen advocate of breastfeeding - breast is always best. However, I think pregnancy plus breastfeeding could put an awful lot of strain on your body. I don't know if you're a strong strapping woman who could take breastfeeding and pregnancy in your stride and I think your Doctor and your Midwife could offer you some good advice. So while you must follow your heart, I would listen to what your medical carers have to say so that you can do the best by your baby and the baby that you are carrying.
Q: have a soon to be 1 year old son. Is this the right age to start to look at getting him to feed himself using cutlery? He currently has a mixture of finger foods, purees and cut up food that he eats either with his fingers or we spoonfeed him. The problem is, if he has too much on his highchair tray he starts to throw bits off. He also has since the start of the weaning process always wanted to do part of it himself, so has had bits of finger food from the start but I am unsure how to make the transition to him having food from bowls, plates and using spoons and forks, as he likes using his fingers playing with the food and is a bit fussy about what he will eat. He likes vegetables like peas, broccoli and tender meat or chicken fingers, but if he is tired he only will take puree or soup or similar. Any suggestions on how to help him move to eating more normally would be great
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: I think your little boy is doing just beautifully at feeding himself. I belive in child-led feeding, in other words providing quite an array of different foods in forms which a child can choose to pick up and feed themselves. I honestly don't think it matters when they start using spoons, knives or forks and I think your little boy is showing he's quite dextrous for a 1-year-old to be using a spoon successfully. By the way, the more food you give him to choose from, the less fussy he will be and the longer you leave him to choose what he eats, the less fussy he will be. If you want him to eat vegetables, give them to him first when he's most hungy, and only add other foods when he's eaten the veg. Children around 18 months can sometimes manage a fork but there's no set age when they should. They use a fork out of adventurousness and the sense of achievement in spearing a piece of food and getting it to their mouths. But there's no set timetable. I don't think knives are appropriate until a child is much older. Probably after 5 years old.
Q: My son is 17 months old and is very quiet as in he doesn't speak or make hardly any noise he has 2 words he can say 'jess' and 'shoes' but he also has very bad behaviour and he suffers terribly with tiredness he sleeps 6pm till 8 am and has a 2/3 hour nap a day my brother-in-law and father-in law have a condition where too much light enters there eyes and they have trouble reading and concentrating could it be that my son may have this too as he also has the same milk intolerance as his uncle?
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: Babies are born wanting to talk, though of course they can't at the beginning: they just burble, blow raspberries and babble to themselves. This is their way of talking. However, in order to acquire speech a baby has to be spoken to. A baby who isn't spoken to will be slow to talk. My golden rule is that you start talking to your baby from the moment it's born and you never stop. We also know that babies who are sung to, who have nursery rhymes recited to them and who play clapping games with their parents from an early age, speak early. A baby needs lots of focused, caring attention to speak but if you are worried about his slowness to talk, why not have a conversation with your Health Visitor who can assess him properly.
Q: This is going to sound like a silly concern, but my 12 week old son is desperate to be on his feet all the time and I am worried that at this early age it could damage his development. He is a very big baby (over the 99th centile in height and weight) and has reached all the usual milestones early so far (chatting, smiling, laughing, sitting up, grabbing items and putting them in his mouth etc) He has never cried and is on a good routine. But he gets very grumpy when I don’t let him feel his feet. It's obviously going to be several months before he is going to be able to walk and holding him up all the time is very strenuous. Am I harming his back, legs or feet by letting him do it?
Dr Miriam Stoppard says: Your gorgeous little boy is clearly going to be a sportsman. I think it's great that he wants to be on his feet all the time and I can reassure you that he won't do himself any harm at all - quite the opposite, in fact. Every time he takes even a little of his weight on his feet, he 's stimulating his muscles, joints and bones to grow strong. He's also learning to balance and co-ordinate his body. You can even let a newborn take his own weight for a few seconds. So I would bounce him as much as you have the strength to do, and once he has head and neck control, you can try him in a baby bouncer and let him bounce to his heart's content!
Dorling Kindersley has published revised and updated versions of Dr Miriam Stoppard's four classic books:
New Pregnancy and Birth: A practical guide for all parents-to-be, £11.99.
New Babycare: A practical guide to the first three years, £11.99 in paperback.
First-Time Parents: What every new parent needs to know, £13.99 in paperback (to be published in March 2009).
Baby’s First Skills. Help your baby learn through creative play, £8.99 in paperback (to be published in March 2009).
For more information about the above books and Dorling Kindersley click here.
Click here for more information about Dr Miriam Stoppard.
