THE PROBLEM: Toddler Jack, aged 18 months, throws a tantrum if he doesn't get his own way.
HIS MUM SARAH SAYS: Whenever Jack doesn't get his own way, he'll scream the place down and wriggle like a caterpillar on the floor. If I try and restrain him he'll lash out with hands and feet. I really don't know how to discipline him and handle situations where he's deliberately misbehaving. People tell me its just the 'terrible twos' but I'm worried it won't be too long before Jack is running the house.
GITTE SAYS: It's easy to attribute changes in behaviour to the 'terrible twos' but it's worth looking at other changes in a child's behaviour too, like eating and sleeping habits.
At this age, toddlers are full of curiosity about the world, pushing boundaries and learning to be more independent. But they have no concept of danger and, unless taught by their parents, they will not learn right from wrong.
Before Sarah enforces discipline, Jack needs to understand boundaries, limits and consequences. Saying 'no' all the time won't work.
When Jack climbs on the furniture, for example, Sarah should remove him and explain that furniture is for sitting on and climbing should take place at the playground or park. This message should be reinforced next time they are at the park by pointing out that this is the place for climbing.
By being firm and consistent, Sarah can ensure Jack will eventually get the message. Implementing limits is far easier now than when Jack is older and starts nursery.
When Jack has a tantrum, leave him to it and give him time to let off steam. When he calms down Sarah can reassure him that she loves him, then distract him with chatter or tickles while she gets on with whatever needs doing eg going in his buggy or car seat.
Sarah cannot expect Jack to behave in the way she wants, if he doesn't know what that behaviour should be. This where setting limits and boundaries comes in - it gives both mum and toddler a framework for their activities.
