THE PROBLEM: Toddler Cameron, 2, doesn't want a new baby brother.
HIS MUM AMY says: From the beginning of my pregnancy, I've tried to be open about the new baby and involve Cameron but he's just not interested. When the baby kicks I place Cameron's hand on my tummy, but he struggles free and runs away.
I'm really worried when the baby arrives it'll have a very traumatic effect. I really want him and his brother to have a close relationship and grow up as friends but don't know how to encourage this as he's simply not interested.
GITTE says: Since he was born, Cameron has been his mum's whole world. This is about to change and it isn't just Cameron who will have to adjust - Amy will too. There's no way to know for sure what Cameron's reaction will be when the new baby arrives, but there are positive steps Amy can take to help prepare him for it.
With so much attention focusing on the new baby, take some time to concentrate on Cameron too. Find a selection of baby pictures and let Cameron help you make them into a small album. Find some quiet time to look at the album together and talk about it. Seeing himself as a tiny baby may encourage Cameron to ask if his brother will be as small as he was in the photo, or if he will have a similar pram or pushchair.
Establish a special activity to do with Cameron every day, something that can be continued once the baby has been born - art and craft activities or simply 'tickle time', for example. Prepare a special box of books and toys to entertain Cameron while his baby brother has a feed, and rotate its contents on a regular basis so that he doesn't get bored.
When the baby is born, don't force Cameron to hold him until he is ready. On the first visit, he might not even want to see his brother - he might just need to be near his mummy.
At first, allow Cameron to set his own pace at home. Be aware that he might regress, for example wanting to drink from a bottle again or go back into nappies. Do not worry about this - be supportive and patient during this time.
Do not, however, fall into the trap of tolerating bad behaviour. Maintaining routines and expected limits of behaviour will help reinforce the message that Cameron's relationship with his mum has not changed and that he is as special as ever, but his new brother is now part of the family, too.
