My childminder is inflexible

Therapist Lesley replies: My feeling is that maybe you're not being clear about what you want, so your childminder doesn't know where she stands. You'll probably have discussed many issues when she started working for you in the beginning, but new concerns crop up all the time. Set aside time every week to discuss anything bothering either of you. One of the issues you need to raise is the question of whether your childminder is prepared to work late at short notice. If so, you should pay the going rate for overtime. If not, think who else you might call on to pick up your child if you're stuck. Simply assuming it's okay with your childminder will make her feel you're taking advantage of her. Similarly, if you want to start potty training, say so rather than hint, but do listen to her ideas if she thinks your son isn't ready and be prepared to compromise.

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