I feel pestered for sex

Therapist Lesley replies: It sounds like you feel torn between wanting to give but also feeling angry that demands are being made on you. In a way, your conflict with your husband is a bit like one your toddler might have with you at this stage. She wants to please you, but she also feels cross you impose rules on her. Maybe you unconsciously see your husband as a bit like a controlling parent. Perhaps this was a conflict for you when you were a child - you wanted to please your parents but resented not being free to please yourself.

This could explain why you feel angry with your husband yet can't refuse his advances without feeling guilty. Talk to him about how important it is for you to be able to say what you want and don't want to do. You never know, feeling more free and less obliged may make you want to have sex of your own accord.

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