Sun 22 Nov 2009 | You are here: Home > Ask baby expert > Birth Qs > I feel guilty about my difficult labour
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The material contained on these pages is in no way intended to replace professional medical care or advice and should not be used as a basis for diagnosis or choice of treatment. Answers to specific problems may not apply to everyone. If you're worried, see your GP.
  • I feel guilty about my difficult labour

  • Q During pregnancy I ate healthily and did everything to keep my baby safe. But the birth was difficult and I needed a forceps delivery. It was awful, I thought I’d hurt her before her life had begun. Now, when she’s unhappy I worry I’m failing her.

Therapist Lesley replies: It's no surprise your difficult labour upset you and shook your confidence. However, it sounds to me that you were worried about harming your baby even before the birth. Perhaps you feel that you're flawed and constantly have to protect your daughter from being damaged by you. This means that rather than just caring for her, safe in the know-ledge that you're doing well, you focus on ‘correcting' things or ‘compensating'.
Think about why you feel like this in the wider picture. It may be that when bad things happen, like your labour, you blame yourself and think it's because you're a bad person. If you carry on feeling worried or depressed contact your GP or the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). Visit www.bacp.co.uk to find a therapist near you.

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