I don't want to cause a food rift

Psychotherapist Lesley Steyn says: Having your mother-in-law look after your daughter is a tremendous support but it is harder to negotiate 'terms' with someone who is helping you informally. Issues can be more sensitive. There may also be some feeling that she is doing the favour and so will do it her way. Check that she isn't feeling 'put upon'. Then discuss your concerns, saying how lucky you feel, but it is important to you that your daughter has a healthy diet. Emphasise the fact that conflicting rules can confuse a child. You may need to compromise, but you can only share your child's upbringing if you feel comfortable.

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