How can I help my children deal with our split?

Psychologist Laverne replies: I really feel for you. It's clear you think there's no way back for your relationship, but at the same time you're aware you need to have a frank discussion about visiting rights. Take each day slowly and avoid making hasty plans. Get someone to mind the children so you can meet and talk things through uninterrupted. Be clear about what you can manage; for example, if you feel it's too soon for him to come to the house and see the kids, meet somewhere neutral.
Your 3-year-old son will feel a sense of loss about the departure of his father, but it's slightly different for your baby. You don't have to deal with the implications on your own - draw on the support of friends and family. And don't forget to attend to your own needs - giving daily support to your children can be exhausting.
It may help to see a counsellor. Find one near you by visiting www.bacp.co.uk.

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