He’s avoiding me

Therapist Lesley replies: You say you both wanted this baby, but that your relationship has gone from bad to worse. This makes me think you've been having problems for a while and may have become pregnant in the hope it would improve things. Unfortunately, as you're finding out, a baby is not going to resolve your problems. Instead it's vital that you talk to each other rather than assume how the other is feeling. I'd guess your husband may be feeling jealous, which is why he immerses himself in work, leaving you feeling neglected and isolated. As a result you focus even more on the children to compensate, which makes him feel more pushed aside - and so it goes on. My advice is to get help learning to talk and listen to each other. You could try counselling with Relate, visit www.relate.org.uk, or with a BACP therapist (British Association for Counselling and Psycho-therapy), see www.bacp.co.uk.

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